“Every time I close my eyes…” / Selvije Jao makes a TOUCHING dedication to Shpat Kasapi: The part that hurts the most…

Selvije Jao from time to time shares touching posts on social media, heartfelt dedications to her partner, Shpat Kasapi, who passed away in November 2025 after a heart attack.

Most recently, she published a long message on her Instagram story, where she speaks about the absence, pain, and longing for her late husband, who, as she says, left her with a farewell she never wanted to give.

In her post, Selvije writes that every time she closes her eyes, memories and special moments she shared with Shpat come rushing back.

“Every time I close my eyes, I find myself dancing with the memories we created; and every time I open them, I am reminded that our story ended with a goodbye I never wanted to say,” reads the post she shared.

Among other things, she says that she often thinks about what her life would have been like if she had never met Shpat, but then emphasizes that she would always choose him.

“Missing you should never have been a chapter of my life. And yet, here I am, waking up in the middle of the night, whispering your name into the darkness, as if it could bring you closer. Every time I close my eyes, I find myself dancing with the memories we created; and every time I open them, I am reminded that our story ended with a goodbye I never wanted to say.

Sometimes I pray desperately, begging God that when I reach out into the darkness, it won’t be my own hand that I’m holding. And then I stop, because another thought crosses my mind: what would my life have been like if you had never entered it?

And in that moment, I smile. Because even though it hurts, even though I carry this longing like a shadow, I know I would choose you again. Every version of you.

And perhaps this is the part that hurts the most: that the memories we created still feel like home and, somewhere deep inside me, I still hope for a life where I don’t only remember you… but live with you,” she wrote.

“KORÇA BOOM”